shadowscast

Just a little musing about my writing process, after finishing writing my first Umbrella Academy fic.

This won't be spoilery for The Umbrella Academy, beyond what you'd get from a Season 1 trailer. Also not spoilery for my fic! But I'll cut anyway, just in case.

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So, as previously mentioned in this space: I didn't write anything for nearly five years, and then I wrote 300K words of Once a Thief fic in a white heat over the course of five months. And then I got to the end of the story that I wanted to tell (for now?), and now I'm sitting here looking around and wondering ... what next?

I mean, the world's my oyster. I have a computer, fingers, and a brain. All I need to do is start wiggling my fingers over the keyboard again and I could be writing anything.

There is a certain temptation to try throwing a bit of time and energy into writing something original. (I don't love the term "original" fiction, used in contrast to "fanfic," by the way—does anybody know of a term that feels less loaded?) Way back before I discovered fanfic, I did write original stories, and that was fun too. I might try it again someday. But original fiction has one huge disadvantage (seen as an advantage by many!) which is that it is, in principal, publishable. So even if I started out saying "Oh gosh, I'm just going to write this for fun, and maybe show it to my husband and my three closest friends and then stick it in a drawer," I know myself well enough to admit that there's a very good chance that I would quickly start to wonder if I could produce something that I could sell. Because, validation, right? And fame, fortune! (Ha.) But then writing stops being a fun hobby, and starts being work. And I already have a full-time job that I love, so I don't want more work—I just want a fun hobby!

So anyway, right now I want to reflect on some of the things that make writing fanfic, specifically, fun. ( Read more... )

Since I started writing again a few months ago, after a half-decade break, I've been thinking on and off about aspects of the writing process, and what it is that makes writing fun. And, well, there are lots of things that make writing fun!

One thing I've really been enjoying is the intellectual stimulation of it. Writing fiction is sort of like solving a giant, multi-layered puzzle. There's the puzzle of how to make the overarching plot work. The puzzle of how to make each character's individual journey make sense. The challenge of keeping track of who knows what (and when), including the reader.

And then there's a bunch of fine-grained detail puzzles: such as how to avoid using the word "said" so often that it becomes jarring, while also not going into distracting contortions to avoid it. (One of my semi-pet peeves as a reader is when an author has a long dialog between two characters and, in order to avoid too much "A said, B said" repetition, the author just gives us the speech, with no narration. Which is fine unless the back-and-forth exchange lasts long enough that I lose track of who's saying what, and have to go back to the start of the dialog and start counting quotation marks. This happens to me even when reading professionally published fiction. Maybe other people aren't as bad at keeping track of who's talking as I am?)

Anyway, a fine-grained detail that I've been thinking about in my recent writing is how to handle the ordering of a list of names. This falls under "things that are fun about writing" because it's a decision that has to be made, and puzzling through decisions about writing is, like I said, fun.

The list-of-names issue comes up whenever either a character or the narration need to identify several characters by name, at once. So maybe the narration says "Spike and Xander got in the elevator". But would it be better to say "Xander and Spike got in the elevator"? A decision must be made!

I'm thinking about this a lot right now because I'm writing a series of fics which are built around a trio: Mac, Vic and Li Ann. Or Li Ann, Vic and Mac? Or Vic, Li Ann and Mac?

I'm a mathematician, so I can tell you with confidence: there are only two ways to order a list of two names, but there are six ways to order a list of three names.

So every time the three agents all must be referred to (if it's a moment when it makes sense to say their names, rather than simply "the three agents"), I have to decide what order to put them in.

If it's another character referring to them, then I think about how that character thinks about them, and how well they know each of them. In real life, I've noticed, folks have a tendency to put the person they're most familiar with first on the list. So you might refer to a couple as "Susan and Trish" if you've known Susan since forever and you met Trish through her; but Trish's brother calls them "Trish and Susan."

In a recent story, I had an original character who got to know Li Ann, Mac and Vic in that order, so he tended to refer to them in that order. Except, at a certain point in the story, he was spending a lot of time with Mac, so then he started thinking of them as Mac, Li Ann and Vic. A reader probably (hopefully?) wouldn't stop to notice that or think about it, but hopefully it provides a subtle clue about the development of the relationships between the characters.

But then there's another thing to keep in mind too, which is how each ordering flows. I would argue that in most contexts, "Spike and Xander" is a better order than "Xander and Spike", because of the pattern of stressed and unstressed syllables. "Spike and Xander" is a nice, neat trochaic dimeter, and it flows very naturally in spoken English. "Xander and Spike," stressed-unstressed-unstressed-stressed, slams into a wall at the end. (Though of course that's just looking at it in isolation; depending on the surrounding sentence, it could turn out to be perfectly fine!)

For my three secret agents, I really don't like putting Li Ann's name first, because I find the resulting pattern of unstressed-stressed-stressed-unstressed-stressed very stumbly. So in the above-mentioned case of the character who got to know Li Ann first, the ordering-by-rhythm came into conflict with ordering-by-familiarity. That's what really brought this whole issue to the front of my mind. And in that case, I decided that ordering-by-familiarity was more important, because of the characterization implications.

So in conclusion ... thinking deeply about things and making decisions about writing is fun! Gosh, I missed this.

Today, gloriously, I had much of an afternoon and evening free, and I decided to spend it writing fic.

I wrote 2700 words of a Once A Thief fic. (Mac/Vic/Li Ann threesome, if you're wondering. Shaping up to be long and plotty and angsty, in the way my fics tend to.)

It was very satisfying. Once A Thief was my first fandom, the one I imprinted on. (See this post for details.) As a fandom, though, it is utterly, totally dead. Rigor mortis set in many years ago. So, supposing I finish this fic, it's not entirely clear that anyone but me will want to read it.

The way I'm feeling now, though, is that I'll finish it anyway. (We'll see how it goes, as my time and energy wax and wane!)

Hm. I guess I'm just posting to say: I think I have now clearly established that I write for an audience of me. When there turn out to be other people who want to read my work too, that's a super extra ice cream bonus!

PS: If by some weird chance anybody sees this post who would be interested in the story, do let me know! It would be encouraging.

PPS: People following my story Gently Down the Stream, do not fear. The last chapters are complete, and will be posted on schedule next Friday.

Actually, know what? I hate writing. It's so fucking hard. The stupid characters just sit there in a diner staring at each other over the table and I don't know what the hell they need to say to each other. And then finally one of them walks out just as the other one gets up the courage to follow him and kiss him, and then they go back to one's apartment and have sex, and does it even make SENSE?

Four and a half hours of writing tonight (Friday night - wheeee!), just barely over 1000 words, and my brain felt like cotton balls the whole time. I couldn't see what they should be doing; I couldn't hear what they should be saying. I fear I've pushed them into a situation that doesn't even make sense for them, but I can't back off now! Can't they just trust me and play along, and it'll all work out?

Managed another 400 words.

Thinking more about the isolation, frustration etc. I mentioned in my last post...

Know what would be awesome? If I had someone who was willing to read my story in the tiny, irregular dribs and drabs I produce as I go along. Someone who would pet me and say "Hm, that's interesting!" and "Oh, I like where this is going!" and talk about my characters and plot with me, and act as though they're as interested in my half-created story as I am. And who would also be tolerant of my weeks-long silences when I'm overwhelmed by RL.

Hm. Any volunteers? *g* Don't feel obligated, I know it's a pretty silly request.

Um, more fun writing, too late at night as usual.

Another thousand words or so tonight.

I have to constantly argue with the little devil perched on my shoulder, which says "Post some chapters now! Just one won't hurt! But, actually, if you're going to post one you should really post two, since the first chapter's just the set-up. C'mon, it'll be fun. You'll make friends. Chicks will love you, fans will fall at your feet...." And instead of an angel, on my other shoulder I've got this timid little mouse that has its own reasons for wanting me to post: "eeek, I'm scared I'm no good, I want to post some now and hopefully get some reassurance," says the mouse. (Then the devil says, since it's evil: "Well maybe no one will like it anyway." And the mouse says to the devil "Hey, aren't we working towards a common goal here?" And the devil says "OK, I'll shut up now.")

I don't want to post it as a WIP. The story will be better after editing, and after I hopefully find some lovely person to beta it for me. I'm not totally satisfied with the first chapter - I'll probably partly re-write it after I finish. There's another bit a few chapters in that I know horribly needs work done to it, but I want to finish before I go back there (because I'm afraid of getting stalled).

Plus, there is the traumatizing Stalled WIP of Doom. The "project I'll get back to as soon as I finish this one." I don't want to spawn a second WIP of Doom. I mean, yes, I'm 99% sure I'm going to finish this sucker really soon - but why tempt fate?

So, the question for the night: is it liberating and therapeutic to have a LJ in which to post my writing-related neurosis, or is it just unhealthy?

Man, I really should just go to bed.

Sometimes I just worry that what I'm writing is very boring.

Is it useful to show a character on the airplane, in the airport, or should I cut in the next day when his jet lag is half gone and he's already on his way to the first Important Plot Point? Does it add, say, to the fullness of the narrative, of the character development? Of the creation of mood? Or is it just dead weight?

Obviously it could go either way - dead weight or important mood-setting - depending on how it's done.

My short stories tend to be long; I prefer novels. When I read pro fiction I choose novels almost exclusively over short stories. I think one of the big appeals of fan fic for me is that a fic is always kind of like a chapter in a longer novel - there's already been plenty of leisurely establishing of character and place.

I read somewhere, sometime, that amateur writers tend to "open too many doors" - that is, they start the scene a few moments earlier than necessary. The opening of the door is mundane and adds nothing to the scene, which could just as well start with the character just inside. (Exceptions: when the opening of the door is not mundane. When the door must be kicked down, or the lock picked, or the strange door-graffitti analysed. Yeah, there's always exceptions.)

Anyway. I'm pretty sure that's one of my big weaknesses.