Sheep-ish

[shadowscast]

OK, I don't often post memes that solicit a reader response...mostly 'cause I'm afraid no one would respond.

But I saw this one in eliade's journal and I just can't resist:

If there is any question you would like to ask me about any one of my fics, then go ahead! What I meant by a particular line, why I chose that characterisation, what I was listening to as I wrote, what crack I was taking and where you can get some...anything. Anything you might like to know about how I wrote a fic, I shall do my best to answer.

Unneccessary explanation of subject line: see, I'm being a meme sheep and also I'll feel sheepish if no one responds. Um, yeah, move along folks, nothing more to see here.

Comments

[shapinglight]

:Sticks up hand a bit guiltily:

I want to know about the sneezing thing.

[shadowscast.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, I wondered if that would come up. ::blushes cutely::

The five-words-or-less explanation: I have a sneezing fetish.

The long, rambly explanation:

Ever since I can remember, I've been fascinated by and aroused by sneezes. Back when I was four years old I'd get tingly-down-there feelings when the characters in TV shows sneezed (which happens a lot in kids' shows - not so much in grownup shows, sadly!) I had no idea at the time that there was anything sexual about it; I identified the feeling with need-to-pee. I knew that I liked it, though, and somehow I also knew there was something weird about it; I never told anyone about it, and hid my interest in sneezes even when I was very young and innocent! I didn't actually figure out that my interest in sneezes was sexual until my early twenties, and it took finding sneeze-fetish porn on the internet to open my eyes to that. (As a young woman I was very far from in tune with my sexuality; I had no idea what arousal felt like, and therefore didn't recognise the feeling when it happened.)

Interestingly, it's only people sneezing on TV, in movies and in stories that turns me on; people sneezing around me in real life leaves me unaffected. I assume this is a deep level of repression that my subsconcious constructed for me, and I have no desire to break it down.

Anyway. I discovered the internet sneeze fetish community (yes indeed, there is one!) when I was twenty-two, and that was definitely a life-changing experience! I came to a much better understanding of my own sexuality, plus discovered a whole wonderful cache of stories, pictures and videos. As I became more comfortable with the whole thing, I even tried writing some sneeze fetish porn myself, and helped administrate an archive for a while. (If you're curious, it still exists though I'm no longer an editor: Serotica (http://www.serotica.org/).) That was actually the first fiction I ever posted online; the fanfic came later.

Meanwhile, in real life, I started out utterly and totally closeted about the fetish but eventually worked up the nerve to tell my lover, and then a few very close friends. And no one reacted with the feared "You're a freak!" response, and so I started feeling more comfortable.

And at the same time, I was getting more and more into fanfiction. Slash, in particular - and there's some kinky stuff out there. (As you well know! *g*) That helped me feel more comfy with my own kinks. Plus, I discovered more kinks - for instance I have a hardcore hurt/comfort kink, which is kinda related to the whole sneezing thing (though they don't overlap completely).

I also subscribed to a Yahoo! group dedicated to sneezefics - fanfics with sneezing in them. (Yes, Virginia, there is a Yahoo! group for everything.) Mostly the stories were in fandoms I wasn't interested in, but back a couple years ago someone had posted a short Spike/Xander sneezefic, and, hm, let's just say that story's kept me company on some lonely nights. Anyway, so finally the inevitable happened: I decided to write a sneezy Spike story myself.

I originally came out in my LJ about the fetish in this post: (click to read) (http://www.livejournal.com/users/shadowscast/13651.html), at the same time I first posted "Sacrilege," and then offered more explanation in this post: (click to read) (http://www.livejournal.com/users/shadowscast/14194.html). That was back in June. And the reaction from everyone was so wonderfully positive that I finally decided hey, maybe I've been paranoid for no reason all these years! My fetish isn't freaky and disgusting, it's cute. *g* And even if most people don't get the sneezing thing, they totally get the h/c thing or the d/s thing.

Originally it was all one comment, but it was too long to post...

[shadowscast.livejournal.com]

And by the way, Deborah, if you've read this far I might as well confess to you now that this bit:

Spike scowled at that. It was true, Angel reflected, that he did tend to get a bit dusty on the floor, and that made him sneeze, which obviously wasn’t pleasant for him, but choices were limited and at least he’d be lying down and could try to relax and snooze the day away, and the dust would always come out later with a good beating.

is, to me, the hottest moment in your entire Furnitureverse series. (It's in "A Game at Chess.") *g* Also, if you ever actually wrote the Spike-as-rug scene, I would, um, swoon. Die of happiness. Love and adore you forever.

So, to sum up, I am very weird. But pretty comfy with it now. Thank you for asking. :)

Re: Originally it was all one comment, but it was too long to post...

[shapinglight]

Thanks for your long and detailed answer. I have to admit that until I came across Sacrilege I, too, had no idea that anyone found sneezing sexy, but I certainly don't think it's freaky or anything (been reading vampire porn for way too long for that, plus it must be only too obvious to people who read my stories that I'm totally obsessed with Spike's arse). It's certainly been an eye-opener, reading your post, and thank you for taking the time to answer so comprehensively.

I must try and write a Spike as rug scene some time, although I may, now I've got to the point I've got to, have to go back and do a sort of Early Furnitureverse outtake to fit it in.

Re: Originally it was all one comment, but it was too long to post...

[shadowscast.livejournal.com]

I must try and write a Spike as rug scene some time, although I may, now I've got to the point I've got to, have to go back and do a sort of Early Furnitureverse outtake to fit it in.

Oh lord, I'm breathless just thinking about it. ::preparing to love and adore you forever::

By the way: very nice Spike's Ass icon! :)

Re: Originally it was all one comment, but it was too long to post...

[shapinglight]

By the way: very nice Spike's Ass icon! :)

I didn't make that one. I can't do that animation stuff at all. I think it was made by bunnyohare, but it's so long ago now, that I'm not certain any more.

However, those 'Wrecked' dailies are very much to blame for fuelling my obsession.

[lorie945.livejournal.com]

Can I ask if your OAT saga is still in the back of your mind?

And, if not and it's never going to be finished, can I get you to spill the details?

[shadowscast.livejournal.com]

Bless you for not giving up on me years ago!

Believe it or not, it's actually pretty close to the front of my mind. I was even thinking about it while I was walking home from work tonight. I've been considering starting work on it again, especially since I'm struggling horribly with the Spike/Xander story I'm writing right now.

There's really no excuse not to finish it...the part I already sent you is really the bulk of the last part. There's not a whole lot else that has to happen before the end.

[lorie945.livejournal.com]

Well that's great news. And I've found that working on two different stories is a nice way to take a break when one gets stubborn. Though I know how it is when your head is really into one universe, and you try to jump to another. Some days, not easy to do.

But I am looking forward to the rest of Family.