Don't worry, I didn't think you were laughing at anything but the oddness of the interjection. :) And I was perfectly aware that that was odd, which was why I decided to explain it.
The questions you raise are all good ones, in that there's no easy answers for them.
If queer people had equal rights in Canadian society and homophobia didn't exist—if the gender of one's spouse was widely considered as unremarkable as their height—I don't think I'd worry about people assuming I'm straight. It wouldn't matter any more than if they assumed, from looking at my husband, that I prefer blonds. (Also untrue, but irrelevant, you know?) But queer people are still marginalized here (though the situation seems to be improving—equal marriage is just around the corner, yay!) and one part of that is the "Well, nobody I know is gay" syndrome.
And I'm keenly aware of the privileges I'm accorded because I went and married a man instead of a woman. (Hey, I wrote an essay about this once for one of my education classes—I think I'll post it!) I am not out as bi at work—I work at a very conservative private school where I'm on a one year contract, and I don't know of any out staff or students there. If I had a wife instead of a husband, would I have brought her to the staff Christmas party? I really don't know.
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branchandroot
Re: Husbands and sexual orientation
Date: 2005-02-19 07:43 am (UTC)The questions you raise are all good ones, in that there's no easy answers for them.
If queer people had equal rights in Canadian society and homophobia didn't exist—if the gender of one's spouse was widely considered as unremarkable as their height—I don't think I'd worry about people assuming I'm straight. It wouldn't matter any more than if they assumed, from looking at my husband, that I prefer blonds. (Also untrue, but irrelevant, you know?) But queer people are still marginalized here (though the situation seems to be improving—equal marriage is just around the corner, yay!) and one part of that is the "Well, nobody I know is gay" syndrome.
And I'm keenly aware of the privileges I'm accorded because I went and married a man instead of a woman. (Hey, I wrote an essay about this once for one of my education classes—I think I'll post it!) I am not out as bi at work—I work at a very conservative private school where I'm on a one year contract, and I don't know of any out staff or students there. If I had a wife instead of a husband, would I have brought her to the staff Christmas party? I really don't know.