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Since my post about Andrew's sexuality sparked so much fun discussion, I figured I'd stick with the theme for a bit.
I was thinking about Willow. And about what her canonical sexuality could be said to be. And, okay, unlike in Andrew's case, canon gives us explicit statements about Willow's sexuality. She's "gay now." She likes breasts.
Only...no force on this earth is going to convince me that she wasn't in love with Oz in seasons 3 and 4. And for that matter, it wasn't just a "gosh, he's a nice person and fun to hang out with" platonic kind of love; they were sexually active, and she enjoyed that aspect of their relationship. Oh, and plus there was the years-long unrequited crush on Xander.
So why does no one in the show ever use the word bisexual?
Okay, that was kind of a rhetorical question, in that I can come up with a number of answers myself. And anyway, there was one answer in the article that sparked my original post; Cox writes: "Biphobia is an actual issue in both the het and queer communities, and those of us stuck in the middle get no respect from either side." And hey, we can say it was the writers who had the biphobia issue, or we could fanwank (one of my favourite hobbies) and say it was the characters. I'm going to take the position that Willow herself, and all her friends, were more comfortable thinking of sexuality as an either/or proposition than wondering where they fall on Kinsey's 0-6.
And honestly, I'm not in any position to cast stones. When I was eighteen I was madly in love with a boy who loved me not. When I was nineteen I dated another boy. When I was twenty I dated a girl, identified as a lesbian, convinced myself that I'd never been interested in guys in the first place, came out to my mother amid drama and tears, and marched in a gay pride parade.
And when I was twenty-four I married a man. Um. Yeah. Not casting any stones here.
(I'm also a redhead and good at math, but I promise that's the end of my Willow parallels. I have no plans to destroy the world any time soon.)
Er, where was I? Oh yeah. Admitting that Willow's choice of self-definition has a ring of authenticity. But I still wish someone in twelve seasons of Buffy and Angel had used the word "bisexual." Just to confirm the concept exists in the Jossverse, y'know?
Which brings me back to the problematized idea of "canon": if the text tells one thing but shows another, which is canon? Can I say Willow is canonically bi?
***
I also got to thinking about gay stereotypes. And how Andrew is flaming, but that's not the reason I think he's gay (though I do find it endearing). So then I asked myself "Who else in the Buffyverse embodies gay stereotypes? And what does canon say about their sexuality?"
And I came up with: Lorne.
Lorne is ... God, I don't know. A drag queen without the breasts. He's so flaming you could roast marshmallows on him. However, I think he's also completely asexual in canon. He flirts with everyone, male and female, but I don't think I've ever seen him express true sexual attraction or romantic love towards anyone at all.
Of course, the fact that he's a bright green demon, plus comic relief, may play into this somewhat. But, hey, Star Trek made us consider Worf in serious romantic relationships, and he's just as funny-looking as Lorne. (Um, please don't tell Worf I said that.)
So is he asexual because he's really gay, and ME just couldn't honestly deal with a gay male main character? Or is he asexual because being flaming doesn't mean you have to be gay, seriously folks?
I was thinking about Willow. And about what her canonical sexuality could be said to be. And, okay, unlike in Andrew's case, canon gives us explicit statements about Willow's sexuality. She's "gay now." She likes breasts.
Only...no force on this earth is going to convince me that she wasn't in love with Oz in seasons 3 and 4. And for that matter, it wasn't just a "gosh, he's a nice person and fun to hang out with" platonic kind of love; they were sexually active, and she enjoyed that aspect of their relationship. Oh, and plus there was the years-long unrequited crush on Xander.
So why does no one in the show ever use the word bisexual?
Okay, that was kind of a rhetorical question, in that I can come up with a number of answers myself. And anyway, there was one answer in the article that sparked my original post; Cox writes: "Biphobia is an actual issue in both the het and queer communities, and those of us stuck in the middle get no respect from either side." And hey, we can say it was the writers who had the biphobia issue, or we could fanwank (one of my favourite hobbies) and say it was the characters. I'm going to take the position that Willow herself, and all her friends, were more comfortable thinking of sexuality as an either/or proposition than wondering where they fall on Kinsey's 0-6.
And honestly, I'm not in any position to cast stones. When I was eighteen I was madly in love with a boy who loved me not. When I was nineteen I dated another boy. When I was twenty I dated a girl, identified as a lesbian, convinced myself that I'd never been interested in guys in the first place, came out to my mother amid drama and tears, and marched in a gay pride parade.
And when I was twenty-four I married a man. Um. Yeah. Not casting any stones here.
(I'm also a redhead and good at math, but I promise that's the end of my Willow parallels. I have no plans to destroy the world any time soon.)
Er, where was I? Oh yeah. Admitting that Willow's choice of self-definition has a ring of authenticity. But I still wish someone in twelve seasons of Buffy and Angel had used the word "bisexual." Just to confirm the concept exists in the Jossverse, y'know?
Which brings me back to the problematized idea of "canon": if the text tells one thing but shows another, which is canon? Can I say Willow is canonically bi?
I also got to thinking about gay stereotypes. And how Andrew is flaming, but that's not the reason I think he's gay (though I do find it endearing). So then I asked myself "Who else in the Buffyverse embodies gay stereotypes? And what does canon say about their sexuality?"
And I came up with: Lorne.
Lorne is ... God, I don't know. A drag queen without the breasts. He's so flaming you could roast marshmallows on him. However, I think he's also completely asexual in canon. He flirts with everyone, male and female, but I don't think I've ever seen him express true sexual attraction or romantic love towards anyone at all.
Of course, the fact that he's a bright green demon, plus comic relief, may play into this somewhat. But, hey, Star Trek made us consider Worf in serious romantic relationships, and he's just as funny-looking as Lorne. (Um, please don't tell Worf I said that.)
So is he asexual because he's really gay, and ME just couldn't honestly deal with a gay male main character? Or is he asexual because being flaming doesn't mean you have to be gay, seriously folks?
