Musings on memory

I was just thinking ... I can't remember when I fell in love with Spike.

I remember watching "School Hard" and seeing Spike and Drusilla properly for the first time. My friend Lisa, who owned the DVDs and was making me watch them in sequence, (yay Lisa!) gushed about how much she loved Spike and Drusilla as soon as they came onscreen. I didn't think they were that great, not yet, but I remained open-minded.

I know that by the time I hit the end of S5, I was in love with Spike.

But when did it happen?

I theorize that "Fool For Love" was the point of no return, but—and this kind of weirds me out—I can't remember watching it for the first time. I can't remember what I thought when I saw it. I can't remember if I was surprised to meet Spike's inner geek, or if I met him with a feeling of rightness, an "I knew you were there all along!" kind of deal. I remember nothing between the blank slate of the new goth/punk vampires in "School Hard" and the end of S5.

Pairings I love.

Since eliade asked for it, and since it's fun: What I love about them.

Spike/anyone. Had to be said. I love Spike beyond all reason, and I love him (potentially, at least) with absolutely anyone. I've never felt this way about another character, and sometimes I fear that I'll overdose eventually and stop caring, but for now...yeah. I've read and loved everything from Spike/Joyce to Spike/Dawn, and if that juxtoposition isn't creepy I don't know what is. But anyway. It has to be well-written (I have standards, yo!) but I've read and enjoyed Spike/Giles, Spike/Tara, Spike/Willow, Spike/Andrew, Spike/Anya, Spike/Riley, Spike/Angel (duh), Spike/Angelus (double duh), Spike/Fred, Spike/Illyria, Spike/Cordelia, Spike/Harmony (hey, that one actually is canon), Spike/puppet!Angel, and of course Spike/Buffy (my favourite canon pairing in any show ever), and the one I actually write: Spike/Xander.

I've never seen any Spike/Lorne but if someone pointed out a good one I wouldn't say no.

Is Spike/rock just a running joke, or has someone made an attempt at writing it? 'Cause based on the evidence above, I'd probably read it. *g*

Anyway. Just for a change of pace, I'll try to explain what I love about some couples that don't have Spike in them.

Willow/Tara. This is an awkward one, actually. I came to S4 already knowing about the Gay Thing, so there was no chance to watch the development of their relationship and wonder if I was seeing what I thought I was seeing, and squee over the slashiness only to have my wildest dreams actually come true for once. (See, this is what I imagine would have happened if I'd watched S4 unspoiled.) And then there's the politics of it: I kind of felt like I had to love Willow/Tara, no matter what, just for solidarity. Silly, maybe, but present on a gut level.

And then there's the unfortunate fact that one of the handful of eps I saw during the original run, back when I had no idea who any of the characters were, was "The Gift." So you see, the first time I met Tara she wasn't at her best. I was sort of confused. Is this Willow chick really dating the severely mentally challenged girl? That's...um...progressive. Um. Or creepy.

I've come to love Tara through the fanfic. Ironically (or unsurprisingly, giving my obsession) I've mostly met her in Spike/Tara fics...but the Tara I meet there is one I can project back onto canon and realize that she is strong, smart, compassionate, brave and interesting in her own right, and then I can appreciate the Tara/Willow sweetness.

I just watched the stargazing scene in "Into the Woods," and it was friggin' adorable. Willow and Tara, during the good times, are absolutely the sweetest, cutest, warm-and-fuzziest pairing in the Buffyverse. They even adopted a kitten! (Poor Miss Kitty Fantastico.)

And now I have to go to bed. But hey, this is fun; maybe I'll do another installment tomorrow.