I think that you have nothing to feel bad about, there. At a time where asexuality wasn't even a hint of a thought in most peoples' heads, you wrote it.
Hi! Thanks so much for your kind and encouraging words! I really appreciate it. :-)
I like reading sex, sometimes, but not the scenes I've written. Even when other people say it's hot, it still reads so weird to me.
Interesting! I find that for me, the experience of re-reading my own sex scenes varies by my mood. Sometimes I'll look back and think "Yes, this is well-written and I think that other people would find it hot!" and sometimes I'll look back (on the same scene!) and think "Ugh, this is weird and embarrassing!" (Although, come to think of it, I guess I have both of those experiences with all of my old writing, not just the sex scenes!)
I hope you have places now, like online or RL friendships or groups where you feel comfortable and accepted talking about your identity and your thoughts and feelings about it.
Thanks for saying that! I guess that right now, I'm making this journal into one of those spaces. And I have talked about it from time to time with a few people in RL as well—just not very much. I guess, even with the people who I would be comfortable revealing that aspect of myself to, I always have an element of not wanting to bore them by talking too much about myself. :P I mean, that may just be my own issues talking! But also ... my friends and I in our late thirties, or forties, or even fifties; basically everybody else finished figuring out their own sexuality a few decades ago, so it just doesn't come up very much, and I'd feel weird bringing it up.
Anyway, my online journal seems like an appropriate place to talk about myself a bunch without worrying about boring people. Anybody who's not interested can easily click away! :-)
Do you know if Once a Thief is available online?
Not that I know of. Because it's so obscure, I don't know that anyone's even bothered to pirate it!
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2019-06-08 09:51 pm (UTC)Hi! Thanks so much for your kind and encouraging words! I really appreciate it. :-)
I like reading sex, sometimes, but not the scenes I've written. Even when other people say it's hot, it still reads so weird to me.
Interesting! I find that for me, the experience of re-reading my own sex scenes varies by my mood. Sometimes I'll look back and think "Yes, this is well-written and I think that other people would find it hot!" and sometimes I'll look back (on the same scene!) and think "Ugh, this is weird and embarrassing!" (Although, come to think of it, I guess I have both of those experiences with all of my old writing, not just the sex scenes!)
I hope you have places now, like online or RL friendships or groups where you feel comfortable and accepted talking about your identity and your thoughts and feelings about it.
Thanks for saying that! I guess that right now, I'm making this journal into one of those spaces. And I have talked about it from time to time with a few people in RL as well—just not very much. I guess, even with the people who I would be comfortable revealing that aspect of myself to, I always have an element of not wanting to bore them by talking too much about myself. :P I mean, that may just be my own issues talking! But also ... my friends and I in our late thirties, or forties, or even fifties; basically everybody else finished figuring out their own sexuality a few decades ago, so it just doesn't come up very much, and I'd feel weird bringing it up.
Anyway, my online journal seems like an appropriate place to talk about myself a bunch without worrying about boring people. Anybody who's not interested can easily click away! :-)
Do you know if Once a Thief is available online?
Not that I know of. Because it's so obscure, I don't know that anyone's even bothered to pirate it!