I don't know if this is something you need to hear or not, but considering this is a fairly recent post, and you did apologize at the end for Li Ann's discovery only being a subplot-
I think that you have nothing to feel bad about, there. At a time where asexuality wasn't even a hint of a thought in most peoples' heads, you wrote it. Those fics about a character discovering parts of themselves were not just personal explorations- though they perform that feat greatly for a lot of us- but are also thought-exercises for the readers, who are learning about themselves too, or learning a new concept they've never considered. You performed a service for the queer community and for everyone in general who read your story. That it is a small part in a larger narrative doesn't make it less valuable; and if I know anything about reading fics, the fact that it was naturally woven into what sounds like a beautifully crafted story would only enhance its realism and relatability. Every one of these early representations paved the way for the people who came later. You don't have anything to feel sheepish about.
On a lighter note! Hi, another ace writer here! (Probably, I'm still working on the details.) I don't really like writing sex scenes, but I also do it because it's what my sexual characters want. Some parts of it are more appealing than others, which mirrors real life, but I have had at least one story held up purely because the narrative demanded an explicit sex scene to be written, not faded-to-black, and I didn't want to write it. I like reading sex, sometimes, but not the scenes I've written. Even when other people say it's hot, it still reads so weird to me.
Your story on the other post was really relatable and moving. I hope you have places now, like online or RL friendships or groups where you feel comfortable and accepted talking about your identity and your thoughts and feelings about it. I'm so glad your husband is supportive- of both your orientation and your fanfiction! He sounds pretty cool. You also sound pretty cool! And like an excellent writer. I don't really read out of my fandoms, but your excerpts were very nicely done :) Do you know if Once a Thief is available online?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2019-06-08 02:04 am (UTC)I think that you have nothing to feel bad about, there. At a time where asexuality wasn't even a hint of a thought in most peoples' heads, you wrote it. Those fics about a character discovering parts of themselves were not just personal explorations- though they perform that feat greatly for a lot of us- but are also thought-exercises for the readers, who are learning about themselves too, or learning a new concept they've never considered. You performed a service for the queer community and for everyone in general who read your story. That it is a small part in a larger narrative doesn't make it less valuable; and if I know anything about reading fics, the fact that it was naturally woven into what sounds like a beautifully crafted story would only enhance its realism and relatability. Every one of these early representations paved the way for the people who came later. You don't have anything to feel sheepish about.
On a lighter note! Hi, another ace writer here! (Probably, I'm still working on the details.) I don't really like writing sex scenes, but I also do it because it's what my sexual characters want. Some parts of it are more appealing than others, which mirrors real life, but I have had at least one story held up purely because the narrative demanded an explicit sex scene to be written, not faded-to-black, and I didn't want to write it. I like reading sex, sometimes, but not the scenes I've written. Even when other people say it's hot, it still reads so weird to me.
Your story on the other post was really relatable and moving. I hope you have places now, like online or RL friendships or groups where you feel comfortable and accepted talking about your identity and your thoughts and feelings about it. I'm so glad your husband is supportive- of both your orientation and your fanfiction! He sounds pretty cool. You also sound pretty cool! And like an excellent writer. I don't really read out of my fandoms, but your excerpts were very nicely done :) Do you know if Once a Thief is available online?