What a wonderfully realistic yet emotionally satisfying story! I'm glad that writing it helped you through tough times in RL, because reading it did the same for me. You have done a beautiful job of giving us a complex, understandable Spike who is struggling with the challenges of being human, both physical and emotional. And by pairing him with an also troubled Xander, you've made their relationship as rich and conflicted as those we see in RL. Thanks for not oversimplifying; your story is much more rewarding for this reason. I'll be revisiting this one again and again. Lovely job! Thanks so very much!