I'm so glad you've updated this. I really like this fic. And now we know Xander's trauma. Poor, poor Xander. *pets him*

This part in particular had me all weepy: He wanted to say something, anything, but his throat was too tight and he couldn't properly breathe. The pent-up guilt and grief seemed to be physical things, choking him. His face under his good eye was soaked with tears, and he couldn't stop the wracking sobs. He buried his face against Spike's shoulder.

Also drunk!horny!Xander--pretty darn cute.